Humourous Adult Guest Post

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Top Places to Hide Your Adult Toys 

Recently my five-year-old son came across a brand new sex toy I had just bought from, which I had carelessly left in the bathroom. Luckily, he seemed satisfied with the explanation that ‘it was just a broken flashlight that needed fixing’ and was ‘no concern of his’. His age was also in my favour, as he has no idea about such things, but it made me think about the ‘what ifs’. Where is the best place to put it so that it never happens again? Here is what I came up with; 

Underwear Draw This seems like an obvious place to hide it, and maybe one which would lead to it being discovered. However, you are the only person who should be rummaging around in the place where you keep your lacy lingerie, so it should therefore be safe from prying eyes. 

Shoe BoxMost self respecting closets will contain at least one pair of shoes deemed to be special (or unwearable) enough to remain in their box. This makes for a great hiding place, as unless you have very small feet, most sex toys will fit nicely in alongside your shoes, or with any luck, Choo’s. 

Spectacle CaseThis of course depends on the size of your toy, but any of the smaller vibrators such as the egg or bullet variety will happily fit inside. This also has the added benefit of providing extra protection should you ever take it along with you when you travel. 

Jewellery BoxIt makes sense that you would already be keeping your most precious pieces of bling somewhere safe and secure. Unless you are in the habit of sharing your charms with all and sundry it will hopefully remain undetected if you stored it with them. 

Under the BedA slightly riskier option if you have children who are prone to playing hide and seek in your bedroom, but still a handy hidey hole if you want to keep it close to hand… just in case! It is, of course a prime spot for hiding all sorts of other junk, so make sure it doesn’t lost in amongst it. 

In a Garment PocketIf you have a dress coat or jacket that doesn’t often see the light of day, you could use the inside pocket as a way of stashing it safely out of sight. If anyone wherever outrageous enough to go snooping through your things, this would be the last place they would look. 

Suitcase PocketMany suitcases these days have all kinds of extra pockets inside for your toiletries, travel documents, etc. Why not put this concealed storage space to good use as it is rarely going to be exposed…Unless you are off on vacation! 

So, I hope this gives you food for thought. If anyone has an embracing dildo discovery story they would like to share, please feel free. Or maybe better suggestions of where you stash yours!


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