Last July when I turned 40 I had major anxiety. I had never really had that kind of reaction to an age before. It was like I was suddenly more aware of my future and the past all at once. I stared feeling a few aches and the year was rough for losses. For a while there it seemed every celebrity I grew up watching was passing away. The more I thought about turning forty, the more stressed I became. So I decided to accept it and embrace it. There is nothing I can do to turn back time, so I really had no choice. But to be honest, I am not a fan of forty. I actually kind of hate it.
Now I am looking at 41 and not feeling the stress about my age. I have had a whole year to manage my anxiety with this new F word.
On one hand I feel more settled and confident than I ever have. My life is in a good spot. I feel like we are moving forward and not stuck or going backwards in our goals. My children are healthy and my husband and I have been together for 20 years. Each year uniquely different but all pretty great. I do not want to be in my twenties anymore, not even my thirties. But this forty something life is a challenge. it is a mental challenge for me and I am taking it one day at a time.
I wanted to share with you all the things I hate about 40. So many do not seem to get it. They do not understand my dislike for this age. But it is what it is.
You will never be as younger as you are now. Yet you are older than you have ever been at this moment.
40 Things I Hate About 40
- I am not old
- I am not young
- I feel like I am midlife
- My parents are getting older
- My grandparents have all passed
- My children are leaving the nest
- My in-laws are aging and not doing well
- Some of my friends have lost spouses
- My hair is going grey
- My body is changing
- It is harder to lose weight
- I can no longer stay up late
- Being a responsible adult is tough some days
- Some of my friends have split
- Relatives and friends seem to pass away more rapidly
- My youngest is 8 and growing too fast
- People do not get my age related anxiety
- I have anxiety
- My skin is changing
- I have grown apart from some friends
- I have not spoken to my sis in over 2 years
- I get annoyed pretty quick
- My allergies are changing
- I am done having babies
- My hormones are changing
- The songs I grew up with are now “oldies”
- My grandparents passed away in their 70’s. I feel like I am rapidly getting closer to that age.
- My memory is not what it use to be
- My red hair is lightening up (more strawberry blonde than auburn)
- My eyes are more sensitive
- I empathize more with others. Not a bad thing but it makes me emotional
- I am no longer the youngest mom at my kid’s school
- I get IDed less
- Wrinkles, stretchmarks and freckles seem to be popping up everywhere.
- People always tell me how great 40 is
- When I get the cold or flu it is horrible
- Trusting people is harder
- I think a lot about the past and decisions I made. Did I do the right thing?
- I worry more about the future than I ever have
- My kids think I am old
I have so many mixed feelings about this age. I see many friends approaching 40 and having mixed feelings. You feel good for the most part. But you are more aware of life and how delicate it is. You learn to not sweat the small things, cut out the crap and live every moment to the fullest. But worry and prepare more for the future. The unknown seems to be what worries me most.
I have been embracing life and doing things I would not normally do. Stepping out of my comfort zone and taking risks more. Hoping the rest of my forties get easier.
If you have anxiety or worries about turning 40, I would love to hear about it below. I get every day is a gift and many love this age. But we are not all the same so please respect the feelings of others.
Did I miss it? Maybe I read your list too fast – did you mention the hideous changes to your menstrual cycle after 40? I used to be very regular. Now? Surprise! 21 days. 27 days. 23 days. I have a lot more aches and pains too.
I dreaded turning 40 and then a friend of mine reminded me that you can’t go backwards. The choice was 40 or the alternative. I want to be here to watch my little boy grow up. There is a lot more living to do after 40. Try to enjoy it!
I had two periods in one month. What a nightmare. I tried to cover that in the hormonal changes part 🙂
Girl you made it to 40 Be happy. LOL. I was 43 when I had my last child 56 when I beat cancer now 58 and getting ready to do the battle again at 58. Where I came from it is amazing I am still here. If we keep moving and try to stay in shape so we do not get old and broken every year is a blessing. So remember 50,60,70,80 and so on is a major accomplishment. Stay active and enjoy life.
I am trying 🙂
Getting older is not easy by any means, turning 60 is when it hit me that I’m now officially on the downward slope. I feel like I’m the last one left standing, my own family have all passed and it does make me feel a bit alone. Though having had 7 children, my last one at 42 yrs old, does help. Being divorced after 27 yrs and 7 kids doesn’t make me feel any better either. I say head up and onwards 🙂